How To Celebrate Love
Whatever your status might be this Valentine’s day. (Or a year-round reminder)
Numerous times that I have attempted to even make content about this matter for this week. It’s already the 13th of February, of the year 2020 and I’m rushing to be able to convey what I should discuss exactly about this season.
It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and so far people I have asked for small talk about it, disregard the topic so well out of the bitterness of not having a significant other to celebrate it with.
Let me mend those things, give you a pep talk and tackle what exactly we should expect and not tomorrow, or today if you are reading it on the 14th.
The first thing that I told most of my students is to celebrate the day with the ones who appreciate you the most.
It’s currently their term examinations, and my ears are ready to listen to their woes of talking about their frustration to be in the room taking their exams in the midst of the “festivity”.
Although, in retrospect, they have to know that prioritizing their own future for the ones they love the most and for themselves is much more valuable than missing out from being with or in a date, alongside the anxiety of not being able to take the examinations.
More so, spending way too expensive flowers over a practical eat out or what my friends suggested to give with his apparent partner, cook something for her.
Which brings me to my next point…
Honestly, people go all out and it’s fine to profess your admiration to someone.
Withholding the process of queue lines in order for you to get flowers, chocolates, eat a sumptuous meal in a fancy restaurant, in a hotel accommodation for a momentous event, concerts of any kind related to being swooned in the spirit of love, booking travels for the adventurous types and more so of what our generation expects whenever it is Valentines.
Yet, the reality is, whatever resources you have, and what makes you and them happy, is the most appropriate way to express your love and honor the day on why it is celebrated in the first place.
Being with them, and the effort of what you can give counts as a gratitude for their existence.
Another fact is that there are people who will tell me that they don’t have any partner to celebrate it with or even without the day itself, it’s almost their everyday concern.
It feels like a disability to most of them that they can reciprocate that much love and yet receive crumbs.
But, due to the fact that they were left behind by people who never really knew their worth or they were used, they seem to instill such betrayal. It’s normal to point out the fault that has been done, and I went into that stage a few months back with someone.
Although, honestly, what I have learned is we should lower down our expectations and lessen the attention of our neediness. Not because it’s annoying, but it portrays desperation to the point that it apprehends potential suitors out of eagerness.
We can be eager, enthusiastic about our intentions to be loved yet we are too precious to be taken for granted. Therefore, precautions are meant to be a way to prevent further damage to one’s brokenness.
It only reflects our way of saying, we are ready, but we are not prepared for what’s about to be offered to us. Because we are only needing the fix. The validation, assurance, and trust that someone will be able to give what you deserve.
Which is a case-to-case basis, although, people are not perfect.
If we are told that we have to put up our walls to determine our preferences and conditions to get where we actually deserve, while we have those, it only means that we cannot rely on our idealistic self to manifest reality all at once.
We cannot impose expectations unless it’s feasible. Like one match I had on a dating app before mentioned to me: “it’s not just taking a risk when someone appears that is able to, it’s also trying again options that are clear and intentional.”
Therefore, not just find the right person, BE THE RIGHT PERSON.
And how is that? Celebrating yourself. It’s easier said than done honestly because by knowing what your terms to make yourself happy can be attractive to someone who is doing the same thing.
Common interests that make you shine the most, movies that make you cry, songs you sing in the karaoke, the beliefs you favor and disagree on tend to be a glimpse to a better self whoever comes in the picture.
And by that, not losing your way again into giving it all and adapting way too much on someone’s ordeal without even having one. Or even if no one comes in these times, at least you got yourself.
Even if at one point, you’ll be asking yourself, how long will this be? If you think the word with that phrase is ‘agony’, then you’re not there yet.
It is supposed to be the question of ‘what’s next?’, without a taint of frustration, and owning your pace.
People around you will appreciate the growth and openness that comes in the equation, once you have acknowledged that things of the past are not in your headspace anymore, and have worked on improving even a single bit of a habit, one day at the time.
The things we do for love is astounding because internally, it brings out the profoundness of being human.
That even if there is logic, the basis for rational arguments, financial commodities, practical ways of living and responsibilities, we choose love because it banishes all fear and uncertainty, of the ever-demanding world of pure evidence and reasoning.
Through trust, building foundations to make the relationship grow, honesty with the conviction of faults and comprehension to one’s terms from past experiences.
It’s a choice we make, and standing on it firmly confirms your commitment is absolute even if the feelings go astray.
Because special days are just a day with occasions that humans made to honor something in their lives. It keeps us on the now. And this one honors our relations to people who have seen your storms and rainbows and still validated us that’s it’s okay to feel anything.
To be valued, and to be cared for.
Therefore, invest in the things and the people you value, for it will define your happiness.
Happy Valentines Day.
(Especially to you reading this. ;). May you always spread love in all forms of your life.)
